Dear Jess,

This blog post is long overdue. I should have posted it on June 6th, but alas I did not. You wouldn't believe it but it has actually taken this long for me to figure out what I want to say.

When we got the first call that Thursday morning, I'll admit, I was scared, but it was early and you were at the hospital and I thought with a lot of positive thoughts, prayers and the doctors help, things would be okay.

By noon, with the updates, I knew there was trouble, and I knew deep in my heart that the day would not end well, but I didn't tell anyone. Oh Jess, I couldn't say anything negative to anyone, so instead of lying, I simply said "Labor isn't officially started until the water breaks" Which of course since your water had not broken, everyone thought it meant things could still turn around.

But of course, I knew it wasn't meant to be. And when we got the final call that afternoon, the call that Caleb had arrived, it broke my heart. It broke my heart because I know how you loved that little boy. I know how you wanted him and made plans for him (even if you thought he was a girl for your entire 17 weeks!)

I struggled for hours about coming to see you. Of course, I had no babysitter or options because the only people who were available to babysit that day were already at the hospital with you or elsewhere. So it was either not visit OR take the girls with me. I wasn't sure how you would feel about me bringing the girls to the hospital right after you had just lost your baby and I felt like a heel doing so.

Then Jay got to work to pick me up. And he didn't know. We had all thought the other had told him, and he declared immediately "We have to go. We have to get to the hospital"

And so we came. Both girls along for the ride. And you know, I think it shows just what type of person you are that you relished seeing my daughters, even in the hours of losing your son. You smiled at them and hugged them and laughed with them.

And you were so proud, showing off your pictures of Caleb. I have to admit, I was a little afraid to look. I wasn't sure what I would see, and I know that probably sounds heartless, but I've never been there before(delivering @ only 17.5 weeks). But you wanted to show him to me, so I wanted to look. Simple as that. It was such a minimal thing for you to want at this astronomical time in your life.

I have to tell you, that I don't know what I was afraid of, He was perfect. A perfect sweet little angel. He was only on this earth for a few moments, but he was truly something special, Jess. A real miracle. A real blessing. And I am glad to have known him through you.


May he dance with the angels always. May he look down at you and know how loved he was. And may we all never forget that sweet little boy.


I love you both. All three of you.


Caleb Alexander J. 06/05/2008-06/05/2008

An angel in the book of life wrote down this baby's birth, then whispered as she closed the book, too beautiful for earth.

Goodies for Mom (and baby too!): Blogging for Blood Cancer Event

Goodies for Mom (and baby too!): Blogging for Blood Cancer Event

A worthy cause

Friends of Heroes and Goodies for mom have teamed up with each other to host a Blogging for blood cancer week.

This is such a wonderful thing to blog about so the knowledge is out there and support and maybe one day we will find a cure.

My stepmom died in Nov. 2006 due to complications from leukemia, which she had battled for over 2 years. She was in remission for a matter of months before being struck so ill again. Her last months were spent in the hospital. My dad and stepmom of course lived in Virginia, so too far away for us to visit.

I was very shocked when my dad called to tell me that she had died. It was hard on him and my step-siblings the most. I was pregnant with Izzie at the time and it makes me so sad to know that she never got to meet my daughter.

So please. Check out these posts. Learn about blood cancers. Perhaps you feel compelled to donate to research.

Homemade Donuts (no hole)

In chatting with osmeone on momdot, I talkd about making my homemade donuts. She asked how to do it, so here you go.

What you will need:

5 c. flour
2 pkg. yeast
2 c. warm water
2 tbsp. sugar
1 tsp. salt
4 tbsp. oil
1 egg
Vegetable oil for frying (about 2 to 3 inch frying pan or deep fryer)
Small paper bag with approximately 2 c. sugar

Instructions:

Dissolve yeast in water with 2 tablespoons sugar. Add part of the flour with the salt and mix well. Beat in egg and add oil. Add remaining flour. Let rise for 1 hour. Drop into hot oil with a large spoon, or use your fingers. Donuts will be about 2 to 3 inches in diameter. Fry on both sides, drain on paper towels and then dip into sugar filled bag to coat.

It's Raining, It's pouring

And has been since Saturday evening.

It is constant rain, but it changes from being very fast and hard, to a light drizzle and somewhere in the middle.

2 more days of this!!!!!


BAH.

Makes me want to crawl back into bed not work

Izzie Says:

So Momdot is having another awesome contest. This time for a header from Leelou headers

Contest ends today.

Here is my picture entry for this contest! Go join in now!












Yes, I know that only one picture counts. But come on, I had to do that last one.


P.S. Sadie-Kitty was not hurt in the making of this photo.

It's my turn! --- Contest Now Closed.

Yes, everyone, I'm finally going to host my first contest (with more to come in the following weeks)


For my first contest the prize will be a $5 Starbucks card.

Why $5? Because it was given to me as a prize at a work party and I don't do Starbucks.

Surely $5 to Starbucks would do someone some good though.


SO here's the rules.

#1 You must comment here and it must be a real comment, No I want to win. Tell me why you want to win. Tell me something you love about my blog. Whatever as long as there is real content to the comment.

#2 Extra Credit -- 1 extra entry for each option. But you must comment in separate comments for the extra credit entry.

* You can subscribe via email to my blog through feedburner for Extra credit.
* You can blog about my contest on your blog.
* Add me to your blogroll or put my button (its on my sidebar) on your blog

My daughter has an appt. on Thursday so this contest will run through Saturday Aug 16th. I'll pull a winner randomly.

Hey Ladies........

So you want MY vote to win the diaper bag from Momdot?


Comment here! Anything. But it must be a real comment, not "Vote for me"

Tell me WHY I should vote for you.

5 minute break

I've go so much stuff to do today around the house that I'm not on the computer much.

So I just took a 5 minute break to chat just a bit.

First off -- Have you been to Momdot (http://www.momdot.com) yet? If not, why not. Head on over and check out all they have to offer.

Be sure to join all the contests too.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen of Kris' Favorite Authors 1. Stephanie Meyer 2. Laurell K Hamilton 3. Christina Feehan 4. Sherrilyn Kenyon 5. Jaci Burton 6. Janet Evanovich 7. Lora Leigh 8. Tara Janzen 9. JR Ward 10. kelley Armstrong 11. MaryJanice Davidson 12. JD Robb 13. Katie McCallister

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Wordless Wednesday --- Welcome to the World

Silly Monkey Story #1

Karen started this cool new Tuesday meme for all to celebrate the kids in our lives.

So here's my first Silly Monkey Story.


We'll go back to 2006/2007 to set the scene. I was pregnant with Izzie and Caity was excited about being a big sister, but for some reason, she thought (and no one we know of told her this) that there was a baby elephant in my tummy, not a baby sister.

So March 5, 2007 arrives and I deliver Izzie. Caity is standing outside the nursery windows with grandpa and she's got this odd look on her face.

Her first reaction to seeing her sister:


"That is NOT a baby ellphant mama, I want my ellphant."



For more Silly Monkey Stories, check out 3 Garnets & 2 Sapphires.

Wordle!

Isn't this cool!

A little Photo Contest Fun!

So 5 minutes for mom is hosting a Summer Fun Photo Contest. The winner will win $500!


It was hard to pick just ONE photo. But alas here is my entry.





Caity running back up the slip and slide. Nothing says fun more than kiddo's playing in the water. Be it water balloons, a pool, the slip n slide or a sprinkler. It's not summer, Not summer fun, without water sports.

It's Breastfeeding Week

And I thought, that since tomorrow marks 17 months of Nursing for Miss Izzie, that I'd take the time to make a special post.

It's so amazing to me the difference between my children. Caity, as most of you know, would not breastfeed at all. Nothing we did worked, the LC's couldn't help, LLL was clueless to get it going, and I ended up pumping. As Fun as that was, I was determined to make Breastfeeding work with Izzie, and amazingly enough it has! She's been a great nurser from day 1 and here we are at 17 months.

I thought she had weaned, but that only lasted a week. She is of course, not as big of a nurser now, as she was a year ago, but I know its good for her.

Some of my favorite things about nursing are the bond that forms. I am of course bonded to both of my children. But seeing Izzie's face when she's nursing, her sweet smiles, those are special. Plus I'm all about the convenience of not having to pack bottles!

I'll also always love my "Milk Truck" and "Milk Maid" shirts from Biltmore Baby .

Blog the Recession

Check out Motherhood Uncensored and her Blog the Recession idea.

What a fabulous idea. And she is totally right July has been a pretty craptastic month for a lot of folks. Including us, with finding out about Caity needing to go to Children's.


So go to Motherhood Uncesored and join in today.

Start clicking through on the blogs you visit daily and give those blog-owners the money from ads or just the giddiness that is associated with finding your numbers increasing, or comment love!

I am teh Ded

Our outside thermometor reads 115 degrees!


It's darn hot.

The girls are enjoying nana's. We will be home tomorrow and I'll reply to emails then!

Conversation with Jarhead

Emmy had her 6 month checkup this week. Apparently the doctor who saw her was concerned about her size. Obviously he didn't remember that she was premature. Of course she's not going to be the size as most 6 month olds --- she should only be 4 months!!!

I think an increase of over 8 pounds since her NICU release is a great improvement.

Silly Doctor

Thursday Thirteen -- Tru Fax Bout Bein a Parent

Thirteen Tru Fax bout bein a Parent #1 You can understand the title of this Thursday thirteen. #2 Your glass/cup/bottle will never be empty. #3 You will never get to finish a meal by yourself. (unless you wait until everyone is a sleep to eat your dinner) #4 Saying things like "Do not bite the cat's tail" will become a daily norm. #5 Remember those days of cramming all night long for tests or papers? Remember how you were able to crash when the test/class was over? Yeah -- you'll still have the lack of sleep --- only the chances of getting a nap are SLIM TO NONE. #6 You will find out that Laundry REPRODUCES in the hamper. Really it does. Apparently laundry is like rabbits in that regard. Go figure. #7 A shower -- A shower what is that? You will never again be able to take a REAL shower, at least not for a few years. AT get used to sharing. (No I don't mean like that) #8 Housework becomes a real chore. Because while you are cleaning one room, the kid(s) are messing up another. #9 You know what else reproduces while you are not looking -- DISHES. They are evil little things. #10 You will spend months trying to teach them to talk, and the rest of their lives wishing they never did. #11 WHY? WHY? WHY? Get used to it. You'll hear it a billion and one times a month. #12 Always have the camera ready and charged. You never know when a perfect photo op will arrive. (IE the perfect teenage blackmail fodder) #13 Kids are too smart for their own good. Spelling out words only works for a time or two, then they still know what you are saying. Trying to skip over pages in a book at bedtime -- HAHA no, they know every page, front to back and they know when you skip one.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Updates before I leave.....

I'm headed to my mom's for the next 3 nights, so I'm not sure how much blogging I'll accomplish.

But I wanted to leave with updates posted.

So here goes:

Caity: Her VCUG and kidney u/s is scheduled for Aug. 14th @2:30. We should have results by friday.

Izzie: She's currently stable. Her anemia is better. We'll go in September to do a recheck on her lead levels. She's also putting on a little weight.

Late to the party, as always

But here is my MomDot intro.

1) who are you?

I am Kris. a 26 year old wife and mom.

2) how many kids? pictures?

I have two daughters. They are in my banner and splattered throughout my blog! But I have more, you can bet.

3) what do you blog about? why do you blog?

Mostly I blog about my daily life. Be it as a wife, a mom, a daughter, just me!

I blog to get it out. If I need to vent, its there. If I want to share joy, its there.

4) Something terribly interesting about you everyone should know

I aspire to be a writer some day.

Check it........

I've been hanging out with the mama's at Momdot off and on since they launched their site Monday.

Momdot is a growing networking site, a place for moms to list their blogs and get to know other mommy bloggers. But not only that. You get to learn about all the cool things from their sponsors, join in on contests and read more Daily doses of mommy life, thorough the eyes of another mother!

The point of this post, beside blatant advertising for this awesome site, and the wonderful ladies represented is this:


StrollerMama One of the awesome sponsors for Momdot is donating this seriously wicked awesome prize.

A brand new 2008 BumbleRide Flyer Stroller

And you get 5 entries to win if you just CLICK HERE

So get clicking. Join Momdot and see what the fuss is all about. And Try to win this awesome stroller

Why, yes, I am a little oddball

When I am cleaning, I HAVE to have music on. Yes. Music. Loud. Random Music.

So of course, an MP3 player is a must (unless I want to irritate the hubby and kidlets)


So for your chance to win an ipod (who doesn't want one of those) Visit SITS

Wordless Wednesday --- Visiting with an Uncle

Izzie Izzie Izzie

I do not think Crayola was on the list of approved ways to increase your daily calories.


And no, I don't care how "pretty" your diapers will be.



Note to Caity: Don't leave your crayons where sister can get them. She will eat them and you will have none

K thanx

My Dryer is Empty

Why is this something to blog about, you ask?

Because if you know me, you know that I am forever saying that if my dryer is empty, it must be broken. Yes, this is because I am forever doing laundry.

So this weekend, of course, the weekend, I am childless for a few hours, what happens to thwart my cleaning plans -- the dryer stops drying.


The mountain of dirty laundry will continue to grow until Paps, hopefully is able to fix the dryer later this week.

A launch party for a new blog! Check em out!

“Hey BlogoSphere! MomDot is so excited about our launch! We had been working hard to get going for August 1st, but with all the amazing support of mom boutiques and mom bloggers , we are ready to get the Party Started! We want you to come every day starting on July 28th with the party ending on August 31st, including prizes daily and feature bloggers , just in time to bang out the end of summer and into the school year. Don’t forget to list your blog for free and connect with other mommies on our forum!”

Neat thing

and I found it in a contest, of course.

Check out Sassy Frazz and their giveaway for a grobag! Awesome idea.

A trip to Children's is in our future

On August 14th, we will be heading to Little Rock for a visit to Children's hospital.


Why: Caity will be having a VCUG performed.


Oh Joy!

Will keep all updated on how that goes.

With all the recalls and other info

coming in these days. It's hard to know what's best for our children.


We, ourselves, have been making the switch to BPA free sippies and bottles. But the task becomes then to find one the girls will drink out of.


Here's a chance to win one to try.

Click here for a chance to win A Safe Sippy

Works for me Wednesday --- Shelving

In our house, where we have both girls currently sharing a room (Hey honey, can you get that addition up any faster?!) We have a lack of space in the bedroom. But no lack of toys, clothes, and all the other miscellaneous items needed in their room.

So we took a unused bookshelf, hung it on the wall (its safely hung and not moving at all!) and We use it to store cloth diapers, hats, bibs, burp clothes and any other random item that does not go with the toys or clothes in the dressers.



The items are out of the reach of the littles AND not stuffed somewhere looking ridiculous. That Works for me


Here's an old picture of the shelf

Another Cloth Diaper Contest

Yes, Another one.

Why?!

Because. I. Like. Cloth. And because it gets me an entry!


Win 12 Bum Genius Diapers Here

Yo Baby Yogurt

So, as most of you know, we've been told to increase Izzie's calories to try to get her back on her growth curve and put some weight on her.

One thing that a friend recommended to me was Yo baby yogurt plus cereal and Fruit. I was a little leary to try it as none of us really like yogurt. But I picked up some Apple and Mixed berry and Izzie LOVES it.

This stuff is awesome. She loves the flavor and taste. And I love the fact taht it has 45% RDI of Iron! And is a good healthy high calorie snack for her!

So go out and get some for your babies.

Happy Birthday Baby Luxe!

Baby Luxe Daily is turning one!

http://babyluxedaily.com/

Go check out their blog!

No recent posts

because Caity spilled coke in my laptop and it is not currently living.

Jay is trying to save the harddrive so we at least still have our pics.

Fingers crossed please!

And for the girls:

Caity is doing well. She spent part of the week at her great grandma's playing with Evan. And Izzie is a new tooth richer! Both are well!

Today's To do

We had a busy day today. We had to do grocery shopping and hit walmart for a few items too (Why can't we get a target!?)

Jay ended up having to go into work after some fiasco there. I am not sure what exactly happened, but something with the server and the project couldn't run, and he was upset and gone for 5 hours -- so not good.

I went to G's house to go with her to walmart. Plus I did some of my laundry at her house, since I still have no water in the laundry room (Thanks to Xerox for calling Jay in today) While there, Jay calls and tells me to run by and pick up an RX for Caity. Apparantly Dr. M called while I was gone and she has a UTI. Lovely.

Just lovely.


We've started Izzie on some Carnation instant breakfast to increase her calories and try to get her to gain some weight. SO far, its going okay. She seemed to like it a bit.

Fourth of July Pics

I finally got them uploaded!

Finally got around to uploading pictures from the fourth!


First off is The Goose! This goose has been staying on my grandmother's pond. But he's a friendly goose and came right up by the house (even with the fireworks) and ran around. The boys got to feed him some bread crumbs and such. Izzie enjoyed chasing after him!








Here are the girls Swimming and playing on the slip and slide









Big Girl Emmy K!



Some random shots of the girls:










I dd also get some pics of the boys -- I'll post those tomorrow, have to upload them too.

Today

Today we have a checkup appointment for both Caity and Izzie.

Izzie will have some bloodwork done and Caity is having her 4 year WCC or just a general checkup in reality.

I'll let everyone know how it goes later

Life in Holland -- For Jen

*I am writing this for you Jen. For you because I know you are hurting right now. And I am posting it here. Because I know there are other mothers out there. Mothers who have also found themselves in Holland and maybe they feel all alone too. *

I know that you are staying offline right now. And I understand. I truly do. I'm going to write this post, and I'm using the imagery from 'Welcome to Holland' that you shared with me.

I’ve been there. Where you are. Where you’ve just stepped off the plane and found yourself in Holland. A whole other country than where you should be. Sure its not the same thing, our children do not have the same problems. I’m in a different part of the country than you. But.

It’s still Holland.

And so. I will share with you my journey. My journey through the landscape of Holland as I have seen it thus far.


There were moments when I was sad, sadder than some people thought I should be. Me, with my living, breathing, child.

And there were times I was scared. More scared than most first time mothers are the day they arrive home for the first time with their new babies.

Plus quite a lot of periods of time when I was angry, Oh I was so angry. More angry that a lot of people thought I should be. Me, angry at the world and everything in it.

And then. Something happened.

Soon I was excited. As excited as any mother is when their child starts talking. .

And I was amazed. As amazed as any mother is when their child starts walking.

And now. Now I am enjoying all that life brings me and my child. All the little things. All the non exciting things to other mothers. Because I know. I’m not watching just any child. I’m not watching some genius child prodigy. I’m not watching someone of no importance. I’m watching my child. And I’m seeing her do things. All kinds of things. And she’s doing them on her own. In her own way. In her own time.

And I realized something. I realized that as Mothers, our primary goal is to see our children succeed. Succeed at whatever it is their hearts desire. Some of our children want to be doctors. Some want to be writers. Some want to stay at home and play video games all day long (Hey, it’s the truth). As mothers, we do what we can to help our children, and we hope they take from us all it is to be a kind, decent human being in whatever they choose to do as adults. Some of our children need more from us than others. And some of our children don’t quite know how to take those two steps away from us. They need guidance. They need love. They need acceptance. Acceptance to do things on their own. In their own way. In their own time.

And it is in that simple truth. That I find, Holland, isn’t all that different from Italy.

So you go a head and be. Be sad. Be scared. Be Angry at the world and everyone in it. Be whatever else you want to be. When you return, we'll walk this path together. And then we will show everyone just how beautiful Holland can be.

Out of the mouth's of Babes

I forgot to say this earlier!

HA !

And its a good one.

Caity was blowing a whistle the other night when we were loading up and leaving Sutherland's (the second time!) and both Jay and I asked her to stop. She didn't stop right away.

Jay teasingly told her "If you don't stop, We'll leave you here."

To which she responded "That's okay daddy, I'll just wait until you come back!"

And we did come back a third time that night!

Check this out........

Ambajam maker of cute clothes is hosting a Photo contest for cutest babies! The baby who wins gets a $75 prize pack from Ambajam!

And to up the ante, Skimbaco is hosting its own contest wroth $150 of goodies!



If you want to enter your cute babies, click here and go pic crazy!

Here's recent pics of my cutie pies too!

What A Fun Week

*note dripping sarcasm*

So, Izzie's latest medical problem stems from high lead levels, as most of our friends and family know.

Jay, how I love him, is very dedicated to figuring out where this is coming from and fixing it, so that we can get the lead out of her system for good.

His latest attempt at this was adding a whole house water filter and changing all of our water pipes in the house to new CPVC instead of the metal they were.

He started replacing pipes Monday afternoon. Tuesday, he continued, and shut off the water, so we could hook everything up. After 3 trips to Sutherlands (kinda like Home Depot/Lowes for those that don't have them) that night, he still did not have all pieces needed, and so we went without water.

Yesterday, he went to Lowe's on his lunch break to pick up peices. And when we got home from work, he continued on, while I helped AND kept an eye on the girls -- who have thoroughly enjoyed being outside!

Needless to say, nothing ever goes right! And while we did have water last night to bathe, etc, there were other problems and we will be yet again, working on them today after work.

Nothing like bursting water pipes to make your evening fun!

Another Contest

Win a Bum Genius 3.0 Starter Kit from Nature's Child - Wholesome Goods for Mothers and Babies


Most of you know that we use cloth diapers (along with sposies) on Izzie. She has super sensitive skin and these help out tons.

So here's a contest to win a starter kit for those who are interested. And if you're not, you can enter and send them to me! (Joking....mostly!)

A contest! A contest!

Win the Essential Babywearing Stash from Along for the Ride (one Beco Butterfly, one Hotsling baby pouch, one BabyHawk Mei Tai, one Zolowear Ring Sling, and one Gypsy Mama Wrap)


Join this awesome contest! Baby wearing has been such a blessing with Izzie!

Happy Fourth of July

We spent the day at my grandmothers with the girls and other family! Aunts and Uncles, and the grandparents and great grandparents! Plus Baby Emmy!

Good Food, Great Family, And Wonderful Fireworks!

Hope everyone else had a great time too!